Sunday, April 12, 2009

My unborn baby's daddy is deceased..?

His parents think we should do someting special at his grave related to the baby the next time we change the flowers %26amp; decorations. I was thinking doing baby blue %26amp; light pink flowers and a banner that said %26quot;daddy to be%26quot;. Does this sound stupid???





Please give your insight and/or any suggestions you may have.





And, I%26#039;m not farther along to know the sex of the baby so it can%26#039;t be gender specific.





thank you!

My unborn baby%26#039;s daddy is deceased..?
Sorry to read about your loss. May God give you and your family the strength to face these troubles of life with firmness and patience. The Quran says %26quot;God is with the patient people.%26quot;





Your idea is not stupid at all. When you do it, I recommend that you remember to take photos or video so that your coming baby see it and know that his/her father was special to you and his family.





Now that I%26#039;ve had my baby a couple of months ago, I know how special a baby is, and I know how a baby needs BOTH his parents. Life might have a different opinion, but you can still give your baby the benefit of a dad, even though he is not living anymore: you%26#039;ll need to work on that in the coming years, by talking to the baby about his/her dad, and giving them a clear idea about who he was.





My wife used to talk a lot to our baby when he was in the womb. We think that it was very good for him.. You might wish to try that.





Take care of yourself, and remember that there are people here as well who are praying for you and for the baby.





Peace/salaam.
Reply:i don%26#039;t think it sounds stupid at all, i think that you should a unisex colour like yellow though but it%26#039;s up to you whatever colour/s you choose :-)
Reply:I%26#039;m sorry to hear this.





But i think whatever you put in his grave is special.
Reply:that sounds nice you could also do a bunch of yellow flowers with rubber duckies.
Reply:i%26#039;m terribly sorry to hear about your loss.... your idea sounds great. he%26#039;ll love it. :D
Reply:It doesnt sound stupid. But even if it did does it matter.... this is for you, him, and your baby. (forget everyone else)





Im sure it would be appreciated.
Reply:Your idea isn%26#039;t stupid at all. I would do the same thing if I was in your shoes. I am really sorry you have to go through the lose of your child%26#039;s father but at least he left you with a great gift.





After you find out the gender then you can do more specific things for his grave.





Good luck and congrats on your baby.
Reply:i think you have the right idea! who cares if other people dont get it. he is a part of this also and its nice to include him when you can. i know he knows what you are doing for him.
Reply:Your idea sounds great, go with it. and I%26#039;m really sorry to hear about your loss.
Reply:I am so sorry to hear that =[


However, you%26#039;re idea is not stupid, it is very nice! That is a GREAT way to honor you%26#039;re baby%26#039;s daddy =]
Reply:NOthing is stupid when it comes to paying last respects. If it will help you and the family feel like you are respecting his memory, then go for it.
Reply:The %26quot;daddy to be%26quot; thing sounds very nice indeed, but you might think about something other than pink and blue flowers. Seems a little overly-sentimental to me. Red and yellow roses might be nice.





I am sorry for your loss.
Reply:I think that would be a great idea. A cute way to remember him even though he%26#039;s not with you! I%26#039;m sure he would love ppl to know that he%26#039;s going to be a Daddy! I think it%26#039;s a great idea and when the baby%26#039;s born then u can put ( It%26#039;s a Boy/Girl) so all would know. I%26#039;m sure this will make him smile in Heaven. God Bless and lots of Luck to an easy pregnancy!! I%26#039;m prego w/my first and cant wait to get a pic/ultrasound.
Reply:I think that%26#039;s sweet. I%26#039;m really sorry to hear of your loss. I really think you have a nice idea and that it%26#039;s a good way to honor your baby%26#039;s daddy.
Reply:I think he would be looking down with a big smile.What a wonderful idea.
Reply:Not at all...What an honor to him! He would have been touched I%26#039;m sure!
Reply:Oh my God I am soooo very sincerely sorry for your loss. That has got to be one of my biggest fears is losing my husband right now or ever for that matter, (were expecting in July) I dont think putting a banner on his grave is stupid at all. Whatever you feel you want to do you do. Stay strong, and my prayers are with you.
Reply:whatever you do will be great


and what you said sounds sweet
Reply:i swear my eyes are full of tears now,





im so sorry 4 ur loss and i like ur idea so much,





im sure u will have a wonderfull brave baby like his mam n dad,





dont worry everything will be fine,





have patience life is hard but im sure u r both up 2 it,





if there was anything i can do 2 make things better plz tell me,





all wht i can do is praying 4 ur happness both of u,





peace
Reply:Your idea is perfect. I%26#039;m sure he%26#039;d love it.
Reply:I think that is a great idea.





I like your idea so much that when I conceive. I might decorate my grandmother and aunt grave site in the same thing because I promised my grandmother she would be the first to know.





Even from the grave, I know she will still spread the word. %26lt;%26lt;Smile down on me grandma%26gt;%26gt;
Reply:My 2 year old son%26#039;s mother is deceased. Whenever we visit the grave site, he leaves pictures he made at school, flowers, balloons, and whenever we travel, we pick out a souvenir to leave at her grave site. I think it is amazing what you are doing for the father of your child. And I%26#039;m sure you will continue to stay as involved in honoring his legacy once your child is born. I think it is important for your child to have a bond with his/her father, even if it is during the time spent at the grave site. I know it%26#039;s never easy, but you%26#039;re doing a great thing and I%26#039;m sure he%26#039;s very pleased at how involved you are making him, even if he can%26#039;t be here to enjoy it. Good luck with the pregnancy! =)
Reply:I%26#039;m so sorry to hear that! That sounds like a good idea maybe put your first sonogram in a frame and put that by the flowers and banner..
Reply:awww!


how sweet!


I am sure he would like anything! if they decided on a name the banner could say %26quot;proud papa of.....%26quot; or i luv the daddy 2 b! that would be so cute, or, u coul dput a list of names 4 the baby, and see it like a leaf lands on one or something, then she would feel better, and feel as if, he wanted that name, and then she will feel like her baby is part of him! That is so sweet! And he is lucky he had a such a wounderful family and friends!


xoxxo, the extra x is for extra pecks! luv!
Reply:do what makes u happy at least he/she knows where daddy is
Reply:~From God we come and to Him is our Return~





I think it would be a lovely gesture. I know if I were to walk by the grave and see it I would definitely tear up if not cry. It%26#039;s a reminder that we never know when it is our time and it%26#039;s beautiful.





Best wishes to you always!



c++

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